Cybernetic Shoulder Technology (!!!)

Robots don’t need shoulders, not really.  There are several possible mechanisms to allow them to make all necessary motion without the need of shoulders.  Which is good, because the joint with the highest mobility in the human body is extremely complex.

But Japan has a problem.  The birthrate is dropping rapidly, and Japanese society is xenophobic not necessarily easy for outsiders to adapt to, which means that the usual import of foreign labor is not an attractive option.  This in turn translates into an increasing demand for robots, not only at the factory but also in the household, care center (maids, nurses, etc.).  Such robots will ideally be humanoid in shape, to make for a comfortable living environment for their human overlords (imagine being tended to at the hospital by a nurse that looks like a meat grinder).  Humanoid robots need shoulders.  So scientists are working hard.  See here.

Tough cookie to crack

The Issue

Doujinshi artists like Nadeara Bukichi (aka Nadia Love Kitty, from Z-Vector circle) are hard at work too, lending their hands to this important work which could save or doom the Japanese nation.  As consumers of anime and manga, we should all be concerned.  Let me present a harrowing scenario:

A light-novelist becomes successful enough to hire a maid.  He calls up Lolitarobotica Industries and acquires a cute little lolibot to help around the house.  She sounds like Soundwave from Transformers when she speaks, but she’s a hard-worker and an ace at using –masu and desu correctly!

The weekend comes around.  The proud novelist takes his lolibot to a karaoke club to meet all his buddies.  Alcohol is consumed in copious quantities and the friends decide to close the gathering with a series of banzai screams.  The maid is throwing everyone off (think of Soundwave yelling “banzai”) but that’s not the worst of it.  As she raises her arms in the traditional form her shoulder gives out.  Lolibot can’t operate anymore.

So the light-novelist gets a refund for his robot and hires a real maid. [I was going to make her a Filipino, but I’m acquainted with so many Filipino bloggers I’d rather not risk offending them.  My wife is Thai, so that’s out of the question.]  The maid is Vietnamese.  Her Japanese is poor.  Sure, her shoulder’s wonderful, but that just means she slaps his friends that much harder when they try to grope her at the karaoke bar.  She wants Tet off.

Two Bots

Two Bots

Our novelist gets depressed.  He decides to get a non-humanoid robot to take care of his chores, but XYZ567 looks just like a meat grinder and he ends up returning it.   He gets even more depressed.  The tenth volume of his popular series is waiting on the shelfs.  He’s blocked up, he can’t write ~ and his name is Nagaru Tanigawa!  The creator of Haruhi Suzumiya!  The actual goddess Haruhi gets angry and engulfs the world in one epic conflagration, just because our cybernetic shoulder technology is not up to par.

Or, if you follow my pet theory that Aya Hirano is the real goddess, then the tenth volume not appearing means the second season of the anime never gets done.  The fans storm Kyoto Animation and set fire to the building.  Aya is inside.  She’s immortal so she’s not dead, but she’s quite upset and she engulfs the world in one epic conflagration, just because our cybernetic shoulder technology is not up to par.

This is therefore something of much interest to all.  Besides, Nadeara Bukichi knows how to exploit the rainbow of grays between pure black and pure white, making his work colorful without color.  The use of sections of the cover image as background to the pages inside is also superb.  To check out his artful contribution to the quest for a better cybernetic shoulder, please pay a visit here.

~ by Haloed Bane on January 19, 2009.

7 Responses to “Cybernetic Shoulder Technology (!!!)”

  1. this post was epic and made me lulz and you are brilliant and etc. I hope they fix the shoulder technology, I want my 10-year old looking robot to be able to give me a proper handjob.

  2. Is it the restricted access to GalaxyExpress 999? Or the overdose of Tylenol? Never mind whatever you’re on right now, I’m glad it’s being put to a very productive use.

  3. You know, since we scanlated that, Nadeara Bukichi sent a few mechaloli’s to break Funny’s legs. They swung their sledgehammers pretty well, so I’m guessing he upgraded those ball equators.

  4. Not only are humanoid machines unsuited for warfare, it turns out they’re too complex for civilian work too. Tanigawa should just learn to appreciate the aesthetics of meat grinders.

    I’d like a robot that could read books aloud. But that’s part of my part-time job, so it’d put me out of work. Damn those robots, coming over here and taking our jobs . . .

  5. @digiboy

    Your honesty disarms me, which is good, coz without any arms I’m excused from giving you a handjob.


    Remember Deleuze? It’s all about desire and production. Over the counter drugs can only help a little.


    Tell Funny he can get new lolibotic legs. They’re cute and he won’t need to depilate! btw, Ball Equators rule.


    “Taking our jobs” sounds like a quintessentially American response to me (I don’t mean to upset you, though). And you’re right, viewed from the right angle, meat grinders are very sexy.

  6. Probably not from the meat’s point of view, though. ‘Taking our jobs’ is a stock phrase associated with resentment against immigrants in Britain, but it may well have entered British English from America. There’s been a lot of cross-pollination, and some Americanisms are helpfully pithy.

  7. I guess it just goes to show that you should never underestimate the power of the shoulder XD

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