Jewel Pet 20: Quadruple A [is this turning into an episodic blog or what??]
According to the Jewel Pets, the nastiest sort of human being can be described in terms of the Quadruple A. As I haven’t seen this bit of Jewel lore in the pages of Cosmopolitan or Vogue yet, I figure it will be worthwhile to lay it out here for you all.
Quadruple A, to wit:
Atsukurushii → sweltering or stuffy
Asekusai → reeking of sweat
Atsukamashii → impudent or cheeky
Asamashii → despicable
With all due respect to the Pets (respect the Pets, I always say), this sort of haphazard grid betrays its primitive, Animalistic origin. We go from the impersonal extreme of “sweltering” to the all-too-personal all-too-specific “reeking of sweat” without batting a logical eyelid. In the Pets’ defense, the rapidly expanding field of pheromone studies is reminding us of he importance of sweat with regards to sexuality and therefore our hasty dismissal of the glands in question as mere temperature regulators might be a case of regression on our part from a more self-aware, more sensual (in every sense of the word, and notice the pun) evolutionary past.
But then Garnet, who brings up the Quadruple A in this episode, is quick to add more terms to the mix as her anger rises. The set up is this: Minami, who is Garnet’s Jeweler (to say Garnet is Minami’s Jewel Pet will probably make her even angrier) has a mad crush on her sempai Miyamoto. The boy is dull as they come though, and anything but an outright confession from Minami is simply going to fall flat. But Minami is way too shy and this looks like it’s gonna go forever!
So everyone else (on the planet pretty much) decides to help them out. Aoi Arisugawa (the Mugi of Jewel Pet, if you’ve seen K-On!) has her own romantic South Pacific island that she received as a birthday present. Everyone heads on out there to ship the silly fools. Garnet actually despises sporty, sweaty Miyamoto, and this is where the Quadruple A comes in. Still, she tries to help her Jeweler. As her every effort fails, she begins to add A-words to describe Miyamoto. In doing so, the original scheme is irretrievably ruptured.
So we get Akireta → disgusting, then Anpontan → nitwit and in a moment of total desperation that I simply did not have the heart to screncap: Arienai → impossible. [I love how Saphy assists in registering the new terms]
Needless to say, by the end of the show both Jewelers and their Pets decide that maybe it’s alright for Minami and Miyamoto to take their time. Garnet sees a nicer side to Miyamoto and we get a hint that the boy might actually like Minami as he stares way too long at Minami’s kimono-sugata (her state, appearance and demeanor in a kimono, I mean).
Finally, this wasn’t a swimwear episode at all. The only character with a swimsuit was Minami. Here she is with Garnet’s own sexy creation:
Nice, although Miyamoto didn’t even notice her. Maybe if she had gone along with Garnet’s original plan to have her wear shells, like this: