My Anime Harem
I’ve noticed the spread of maiwaifu lists coming out of my blog reader. After ghostlightning’s post in June, I read digiboy’s on the 20th of August, ETERNAL’s on the 30th and Kairu’s the next day. I wanted to join in the trend, but as I have a marvelous 3-D waifu who fulfills all my needs AND brooks no rivals (not even animated ones) I decided to come up with one of them anime harems. I know this is sooo 2008 but anyways, concubines are not wives so I think this is a perfectly acceptable thing for me to do…
I limited myself to characters in anime shows that I have finished watching (for once my MAL anime list came of use!!!). So without further ado, here it is!! The harem:
I guess there’s not much to explain when it comes to a harem, but as you’ve possibly come to expect intricate pseudo-philosophical explanations from this blog, I’ll explain my choices a bit [NOTE: “R” stands for “rockin'”, “B” stands for “body”, “A” stands for “awesome”, “H” stands for “hair”]
Blair: RB + AH + I like cats
CC: RB + AH + I like pizza too
Jung-Freud: E = RB²
Maetel: (AH x 999) + mysterious nature
Medusa: soulmate [emphasis on mate, though]
Asuka Langley Sohryuh: RB + AH + positive attitude to life in general
Tsubaki Nakatsukasa: RB + kindness
Chihiro Shindoh: eyepatch + voice + moe
If you think it’s weird that I’ve put three characters from Soul Eater in there, know that I was tempted to make the harem exclusive to that series (Eruka, Chrona, Mizune, Maka etcetera etcetera).
Chihiro Shindoh from the ef shows might seem out of place here. Indeed, she even looks nervous next to the other gals. Actually, she would be near the top of maiwaifu list if I were to make one, but even so I think she’d be a great calming presence (along with Tsubaki) over the harem as a whole.
But of course, the key to a happy and successful harem is the careful arrangement of living quarters. Fortunately, I have read the entirety of The Tale of Genji and thus consider myself somewhat of an expert on the subject. Here’s the layout of my quarters, based on the basic Heian period pattern shinden-zukuri (for future reference, check out this great article on shinden-zukuri).
BTW, I’d be in the Main Hall.
1) The Fishing Pavilion – this is where anyone can go chill out when they’re angry. Take it out on the carp, I say.
2) The Western Pavilion – CC and Blair live here. They can gossip and do each other’s hair.
3) The hut – Medusa stays here. I’m scared she’d destroy the residence with all of her magic and taking over the world business. In any case, I think she’s somewhat of a loner. But notice the secret serpentine underground passageway connecting to the Main Hall…
4) The Northern Pavilion – Maetel and Jung-Freud’s abode. I reckon Jung-Freud has enough spacefaring experience to get into some interesting conversations with Maetel. Besides, they both seem to enjoy shower scenes so this pavilion comes with a large bath.
5) The Northeastern Pavilion – Asuka can knock herself out here (padded walls). I mean, I hope she’s got her demons under her control but just in case she doesn’t I’ve arranged for this place that is easily accessed by:
6) The Eastern Pavilion – Chihiro and Tsubaki can take turns looking over Asuka. This will be the most peaceful of the pavilions no doubt. And I figure they’re both early birds so they won’t mind the sunrise. [Notice CC and Blair can sleep soundly in the Western Pavilion after doing each other.]
7) The Drunken Poetry Party Pavilion – Overlooking the pond, but not quite reaching it, some awesome parties can be had here. No doubt.
…after doing each other’s hair! Sorry #6 got cut off.