No. 6 Ep. 03: Oh Boy!
The last half of the episode was boring, let’s all admit that. But how about that first half, huh?
The first 8 minutes or so of this episode floored me. It was devastating. The only proper response for me is to do a devastating critique.
1. Sion picks up Macbeth and gives an amateurish rendition. OK, this is to be expected. Then Rat stands up and recites from The Happy Prince, the way it’s supposed to be done…
YEAH RIGHT! Rat stands there and croaks and shrieks like a banshee and we’re supposed to believe that he’s good at this?? Rat’s acting makes Sion look like a regular Johnny Depp by comparison. For crying out loud!
2. Mercifully the opening credits kick in before Rat moves on to do a scene from the musical Cats. Then Sion falls prey to this black thing that has spread from his neck all the way to his hands. He begins to scream. Surely Rat must be worried…
GUESS NOT! Maybe Rat thought Sion was imitating his own acting methods or something. Maybe Rat is turned on. I don’t know. He’s in such a weird position.
3. Eventually Rat snaps out of it and tries to help. By this point Sion is entering a Dirac’s Sea of pain and hollering like Shinji Ikari (but since Sion hasn’t really made us care about him so far in this show we are disturbingly indifferent to his agony). The black thing seems to have spread throughout his entire body. It’s game over. Sion will have to find some wonderful antidote to reverse the process, right?
WRONG AGAIN! Rat cuts the back of Sion’s neck, takes out the offending pupa and for all intents and purposes we’re done. How can that be?? How can his hands be full of black spots one minute and then perfectly fine the rest??? (except for easy to accessorize light purple streaks, of course) How can this be such a mysterious illness when Rat seems to be so confident he can take care of things with one incision???? Look at his face, he’s enjoying this!
4. So this was a not so small surgery in any case, right? Sion will have to lie down on his belly so as not to aggravate the surgical wound as he sleeps, possibly for weeks.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why is he lying on his back??? And his neck is as thin as a swan’s!!! He should be half-decapitated at this point!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t understand 😦
5. Well, at least tell me that you burned that pupa thing! Or at least locked it in a container at sub-zero temperature! We know that this thing’s dangerous, right? And we don’t know what else it does, or even if it’s dead or not! You’re not gonna leave it out there to sneak off and find a new host or infect the air or something, right? YOU CAN’T POSSIBLY BE THIS DUMB, RAT. TELL ME YOU IMMEDIATELY TOOK CARE OF THIS MONSTER.
Oh, OK, I see. You put it on a little plate so you’re robotic mice can have a little feast. Yes, that makes sense. That makes perfect sense. NOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And this guy is supposed to be super street-savvy? He’s supposed to save us from the corrupt elites of the future? I think we’re doomed.
P.S. The preview looked interesting. I’ll watch one more episode