Hirano and Konna No Idol Janain?!

Kinda of a creepy snapshot right there. How do we know they have proper faces??

The new Japanese sitcom with Aya Hirano started and of course being a fan I had to give it a look.  An accurate translation of the title would be: “This is isn’t the way idols are, is it?!”  The translation fails because the original has a pun with the number 9, and this is relevant because the series is essentially promotion for a teen idol group called 9nine.

I don’t know anything about them, nothing at all.  I’m just watching it for Aya, and I have to say I set my bar pretty low.  And then when I realized the episode was only 15 minutes long (and that’s including commercials and stuff) the bar practically fell to the floor.  So there was very little chance that I would not watch the show.

The plot is typical: five girls (=9nine) want to set up a club for becoming idols.  Their teacher (=Hirano) is an expert on the industry and is more than eager to help.  I read elsewhere that the teacher is meant to be a frustrated idol herself.  So basically this is K-On! in 3d without the instruments.  The resemblance is even closer: the way this first episode went it feels exactly like a 4-koma adaptation.

For a 4-koma adaptation to work ideally you gotta like most of the characters and like most of the jokes.  Luckily, the girl that was cast as the main character (who I imagine is the leader of the group) seems to also be the one with the most talent for acting.  She plays the “normal” person in the show who wonders if idols are supposed to be like the teacher and her classmates make them out to be.  The story will probably revolve around her and that’s good news.  Hirano for her part fluctuates between attempting to channel an anime girl and trying to be a proper 3d actress.  It’s a bit jarring, but I’m sure given enough time she’ll manage the transition.

But what a troubling vision of stardom these women have!  The teacher is convinced that these girls’ fans will mostly be men, and she teaches them what sort of fetishes the lads will enjoy (loose socks, zettai ryoiki) and what precise angle of exposed midriff skin is most delightful to a man’s gaze when an idol lifts up her arm (it’s 37 degrees).

It’s hard not to giggle when the teacher tells the girls that an idol’s job is to be loved.  We know what awesome tempests Aya has inspired in her fandom and anti-fandom.  But the most talked about element of the episode seems to be Hirano’s chest.  It seems to have…grown.

There's a lot of talk about school uniforms..

Speculation is of course rampant on both sides of the Aya divide.  Most people think she’s using padding though others believe she’s gone through an augmentation.  The hilarious thing is that her character is wearing a T-shirt that alludes to the Event.  On the front it reads “The Fifth” and on the back “Growth Spurt”.  One commenter suggested that it was her way of making fun of herself, of being a masochist.

I did some research to try to figure out how many growth spurts have identified in Japan.  It looks like the number is two.  One is at birth (up to 3-4 years of age) and the other at puberty (teenage years).  But I did find something very interesting.  About a year ago a Japanese blogger who deals with older people identified two other “growth spurts”.  These are probably more psychological than anything: the 3rd occurs at 38-42 and the 4th at 50-54 years of age.  Is it possible that Aya Hirano has, through some sort of random genetic mutation, has hit upon a 5th growth spurt in the chest area?

I don’t know the answer to this critical question.  But the funny thing is that she herself blogged [here] that rather than commenting on her acting people are all asking about her increase in size.  She joked that it wasn’t polite.  A fan commented that, on the contrary, it would be impolite not to comment on it.  I ignored the whole issue and thanked her for teaching us so much about the finer points of zettai ryoiki etc.  These are truly inexhaustible topics.

[I’m proclaiming this sitcom an honorary anime…which means I’m watching 3 current shows this season, the highest in several eons.  Hooray me.]

~ by Haloed Bane on January 13, 2012.