Konna no Idol Janain?! 09: Failing at Friendship

Umika enters the I want to be an Idol clubroom in a despondent mood.  Her grade report is apparently not very good.  The other club members try to console her and tell her they all did badly so she shouldn’t worry too much.  When Umika lets her guard down and shows her grades to the others, they all squeal in delight.  The fact is that they were lying, they haven’t done that badly and they were just trying to lure Umika into showing her scores so they could feel better about themselves.

Umika thinks this is a terrible thing to do, especially for people who are supposed to be good friends.

Enter Sensei, who promptly declares the harsh truth: while it is true that friendship is of the utmost importance to an idol group, it is not true friendship that is required but business friendship.  Sensei then has the girls treat Umika very nicely with big dollops of fake, business-like friendliness.  The experience depresses Umika further to say the least.

The lesson today has to do with blogging, again.  It seems like the girls have been slacking and comment counts have been woeful.  Sensei tries to teach them the basic principle of idol blog posts: 5W+1H.

No, this is not the pedagogical “Who, What, Where, When, Why and How” that the girls have heard of.  The 5W are actually nothing more than 5 “Wows”.  Sensei says that blog post content is ultimately unimportant.  What’s essential is to string a bunch of “Wows” together in an effort to sound cute.  For example, an idol could post a picture of a little puppy and then write a post on how adorable it is, making sure to sprinkle handful of “Wows” in the post.

The 1H refers to “ecchiness” (->hentai).  A successful idol blogger will write posts that allow for readers to picture ecchi situations.  For example, the blogger might casually write that she just stepped outside of the shower.  Readers will immediately visualize the naked, wet idol and so forth.

QUESTION: To what extent do bloggers engage in this sort of practices?  I’ve definitely seen the 5W technique in blogs before.  Could the 1H explain certain tweets bloggers resort to?

~ by Haloed Bane on March 9, 2012.

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