400th Post: Advice for New Readers

Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate.

It stands to reason that once a blogger has published 400+ posts he won’t exactly be proud of a number of them (I reckon not even Baka-Raptor is proud of all of his posts).  But how are you, the unsuspecting new reader of this blog, going to avoid the bad apples?  Allow me to give you some guidelines for better browsing.

As you go through my blog posts, I advise you to avoid the following:

1. Posts with Academic-sounding Titles featuring Fancy Words or Words that Smack of having been Made Up. Examples are:

Anti-Paraphiliac Translation

Eternal Feminine Comets, Utadialectics and the Hikki-Ringo Debate

Deconstructing Gunbuster

Get the picture?  Great!

2. Posts with downright WTF Titles.  Some examples would be:

Boyzone Apocalypse

recuperate, replug, short-circuit

Astro-Kinetic Immor(t)al Odyssey

I could be stuck in a 4½ tatami mat room and count myself king of infinite space (though it would be tough)

There are lots of these.  Tread with care.

3. Posts with Horrible Puns in the Title.  For example:

The Yuri is In

No longer in(KOG)nito

Mugi’s Eureka = Yuri ka?!

If you don’t get these puns, count yourself lucky and briskly walk away.

4. Posts with Titles in Languages I do not Actually Speak.  These include German:

Metapher und Kritik

Clashing Haruhianschauungen mean a Headache for Kyon

(Notice the blog name is in German too…I don’t speak a bit of German.)  Also, French:

L’Esprit Chatoyant de Ruby La Jewel Pet

And Latin:

Micura Asahina Regina Otacorum

Alas, often enough this wanton use of foreign languages is in the body of the post itself, and not so easily avoided 😦

5. Posts which begin with Long Clarifications:

Salvage the Future

or even Apologies:

Lightning Bolts

6. Posts in which I Celebrate Birthdays of People who have Little or Nothing to Do with Manga and Anime, as Much as I might Desperately attempt to Link them Together Somehow.  Examples include:

Beauty News: Miss Fan, Miss Universe, Miss Maetel

Before the Gates of Blog Heaven

How Lena Katina’s Birthday is Relevant to this Blog

Now you know!  Also, you might want to keep an eye on the comment counts.  If a post has zero comments, there’s likely a very good reason.  Now that you’ve been warned, ENJOY!

~ by Haloed Bane on November 21, 2011.

27 Responses to “400th Post: Advice for New Readers”

  1. I’ve only recently started reading your blog and enjoying it so far. Therefore you cannot expect me to keep away from such deliciously sounding titles like “Clashing Haruhianschauungen mean a Headache for Kyon”.

    Couldn’t help but notice that you quote Dante in his original italian, but does Italian also fall in the category of ‘languages you do not actually speak’?

  2. Oh and congratulations on the 400th post!

  3. How thoughtful of you to provide links for the posts readers should by all means avoid 😛 Most helpful, I found something I wanted to read again and some interesting stuff I missed.

    • My intentions were pure. The links are a test for the new reader. S/he is supposed to resist all temptations and NOT click on them.

  4. Hehe congratulations. You’re a clever one no doubt.

    WRL’s 400th is both Macross and Gundam and neither: a celebration of a fictional version of Itano Ichiro

    I don’t think I can pull off like this anymore, the post I’d end up linking are the authentically awful stuff (broken video links and nothing else, etc. mostly from early 2009).

  5. Oh, I didn’t mention the number in the post itself, but interestingly enough WRL’s 500th post is on The Ballad of Fallen Angels, which is interesting because the fictional Itano Ichiro in the 400th post is drawn in the likeness of Spike Spiegel.

  6. W… what’s there left to read?! :p

  7. Actually, I’m well under the 400 posts mark, so the law of large numbers hasn’t caught up with me yet.

    I hope you regret only the posts, not their titles. The blogosphere could do without more post titles like:

    – “On blah blah blah”
    – “In which blah blah blah”
    – “Blah blah, or: blah blah blah blah blah”
    – “Blah blah are (not) blah”

    I was going to write a post about that. Don’t think would’ve been proud of it.

    • Oh no, I would never call a post rotten just because of the title. But the title can often give you a taste of what’s to follow in the post (just like often you CAN judge a book by its cover).

  8. How do you check which of your posts is numbered what? When you submit a post, it tells you what number it is, but I don’t know where to look for that one again 😦

    At any rate, I’m still at a leisurely 259 posts. You’re so prolific!

  9. Congrats on 400 posts!

    Apropos of nothing at all, did your 13th post bring you misfortune?

    • Thanks!
      The answer is No. It was a post on cybernetic shoulder technology in the Leijiverse, and I did not suffer any adversities after posting it~

  10. […] If you want to know which of my posts you shouldn’t read, this is a lifesaver: Advice for New Readers. […]

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